A week ago after a month of debating back and forth, I sent out an email to my friends to tell them my plan of using SuperBetter, the workbook, and therapy to get better and ask them if they’d play the game with me. Luckily, quite a few said yes, they would help me, but how? I started to think of things I needed help with and who I could see helping me with what. These are the missions I came up with so far.
Allies Mission Ideas
Mission #1: Encouragement and Remind me to Power Up – Weekly check in
I have one friend in particular who always inspires me whenever he talks about his day-to-day stuff. One of my most favorite Power-Ups is to learn something new. Undoubtedly I almost always learn something new around him.
Mission #2: Work on Social Anxiety and Isolation – Discuss when I anticipate and worry rather than do – Weekly check in
I have a group of friends who I often feel isolated from. I think it’s because of some of my behavior. I’ve heard they often think I don’t really sync with them or I don’t have the same sense of humor as them. I find that kind of funny, but I get it. And despite that, I really like this group of people and want to continue growing stronger relationships with them. The person from this group who I am thinking about for this mission is actually one of my heroes. She is an amazing person who has accomplished so much, is hardworking, goal oriented, adventurous, fun, introspective, kind, caring, hilarious, and inspiring. All the things that come natural for her, don’t come natural for me. I could learn a lot from this person.
Mission #3: Help Fix My Broken Babel fish – Every other week
This mission got turned down already! But, I think it would still be fun.
I have what I like to call a broken Babel fish. I hear people say something and think they mean something else, which is usually something negative. I almost see drawings being involved here with what was said, what was heard, what they really meant. Then I’d figure out why I thought they meant something negative and stop doing that. This is something we could do once a week or every other week.
Mission #4: Work on Avoidance
I have one friend who asks me how things are going at work, with music, and with other stuff on a regular basis. I don’t know how he can help me work on this yet though. Maybe help me set small goals and check-ins to get me to be able to work on music and go to the dentist.
Mission #5: Stop Negative Self-Talk
I have two friends who are already great at calling me out on this. When I first started dating my boyfriend, he actually made me say two positive things about myself every time I said something negative. I hated doing that so much, that surely the negative put-downs came to a halt.
But, the sorry’s, should have’s, could have’s, forgot to’s, supposed to’s, and “I feel” statements ending with words that are not emotions just keep on coming. And once and a while a negative statement slips out. He has gotten pretty good at countering them with the following statements, which is pretty much what the Healing the Trauma of Domestic Violence workbook tells you to think of when you go to say these things.
- “Why are you saying you’re sorry? Could you have stopped X from happening?”
- “You’re not supposed to do anything. You can do whatever you want.”
- “Are you responsible for that?” Or “Do you have any power over that?”
Mission #6: Self-Advocacy – Every two weeks check in
I have one friend who already is pretty attentive to when I don’t ask for something or take something I want. We could check in and tally up my battles for when I was my own self-advocate and where I may have lost, and learn from there. I hope over time I learn to be my own self-advocate.
Mission #7: Goal Check Ins – Every two weeks check in
I have one friend, like me, who is really big on goals. On one hike we talked a lot about goals and I really liked learning about her goals as well. I think she would be a great person to check in with and keep each other motivated on our goals.