The other day I read Eric’s post on healthdemystified, “I am not dead” and realized I could be writing a similar post. I’m not dead and though this past month and a half was really hard, I am going to be much better off for it. Like Eric, I went through a break up and was very busy. My heart was crushed. I felt completely empty and like I lost my closest friend. I thought I had gave up on SuperBetter, but in reality I was really playing it and doing everything I learned from the workbook and the work I’ve been doing over the past 2 years.
Each time I was upset, I picked up the phone and called a friend or family member. I stepped into survival mode and took care of business. I made plans to spend time with friends. This is the first time actually in my life where I will be living alone. I was scared to death of that. But, it has actually been a great experience. It has made my friendships stronger and I realize I have an excellent support network.
This week I was reflecting on this and realized what a huge difference this is than who I was 2 years ago in an abusive marriage. I would have never thought to pick up the phone and call anyone for help. I didn’t have close friends who I could trust and lean on and also be there for them too. I would have suffered in silence and done everything on my own. What a huge difference this is! I have come a long way.
This weekend I am going to accomplish my next Epic Win, running my first Marathon. I have really enjoyed the journey to get here. The training, the many runs and brunches with my running group. And I started thinking yesterday, “What do I want to do next for my Epic Win?” I have been thinking I’m ready to help other people through getting better from trauma and anxiety again. I have already started doing something to help someone who is amazing. I also am ready to reach out more again on the SuperBetter forum. I also have a lot of personal goals and things planned to work on. I am excited about the future.
4ptsdhealing 