Yesterday I had a strange experience getting my morning coffee. The guy taking orders and taking care of business was just so frazzled, trying to do everything at once and so fast that his pace nearly gave me an anxiety attack. I kept thinking in my head, just chill out, it’s coffee, there’s no reason to act like that or you’re going to end up dying before you get to age 22. And seriously stressing yourself out is not going to get us our coffee any faster. And no one here is going, will you speed it up? He must have picked this up from me somehow because by the time I got to the front of the line, he had calmed down quite a bit.
I wondered if this was just that I was closer to the end of the line so there wasn’t a reason to hurry anymore. Or if like I’ve been told a million times over my life, that I have a calming effect over people. I’ve also been told I seem so calm when in situations where I should be freaking out. When in reality, inside I am totally freaking out. But, I also know that I have dealt with worse and can deal with whatever is being dished up. That’s resiliency.
I decided to google the phenomenon and google brought me to 7 Strengths Shy People Have.
3. Being quiet leads to a calming effect on others. Other people will notice that you do not say a whole heck of a lot, and very often they choose to view shy people as simply being more calm. In American society, where people are more often rewarded for “tooting their own horn,” being quiet and calm can have a profound positive impact on other people.
But, I also know that some people read being quiet as being stuck up.
A while ago I wrote about DISC personalities. The personalities are Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness. I tested very high for Influence. So maybe I can have a calming effect on some people. I’m probably just reading into things too much (hypervigilance), but it’s an observation.
How about you? Do you think you might have an influence on others? Do you think people pick up on each other’s tension or calmness and adjust to it? Or am I just super hypersensitive?