Archive for July, 2012
Last night I had a nightmare. I haven’t had one in awhile and thought things have been going pretty good. Then out of nowhere I am being attacked by a grimacing shaggy blonde haired man with crazy eyes, probably about 8-10 years older than me. He had some kind of large sharp knife with jagged edges, more like a saw. I was lifting my left arm to protect myself when it dug into my flesh and I let out a howl while tears were streaming down my face. I woke up and felt surprisingly calm and shrugged it off.
But, later today, I’m wondering, what was that all about? Maybe there’s things I haven’t been saying I should say. Maybe I feel like I’m not really taking care of myself as much as I can. Maybe I’m not asking for help where I need it. Maybe it was really just a reminder that I still just need to be aware that there are still some bad people out there. Yesterday I had caught the news on TV for a few minutes of this shoot out in my city. These things seem to be happening more frequently here. Once in awhile I experience some things that remind me of my relationship with my ex-husband and they still really startle me. Like watching a movie where there’s a lot of violence between a couple. Or when someone gets upset at me and I don’t really understand why. Just when I think I’m getting stronger and better, something reminds me of what it was like and then I don’t feel so invincible anymore. I want to get to the point where I can be strong enough to say “that happened to me, but that’s not going to happen to me anymore” and not feel so upset.
Ok this post is really just for fun.
On the Media: SuperBetter Diaries Entry 3 – http://www.onthemedia.org/blogs/on-the-media/2011/oct/19/superbetter-diaries-entry-3-movin-along/
I liked this guy’s post about the quests his allies had given him and Jane directing him to check out Omar Little on Twitter: “Take strength! Take courage!!!! Be a warrior not a worrier!” Some of the quests his allies gave him could really brighten up your day. It makes me think I need to seriously do some of my fun quests I gave myself, like the broken babelfish cartoons.
The Hybrid Athlete: Why You Suck and Look the Same – http://www.thehybridathlete.com/why-you-suck-and-look-the-same/
Ok, I think this post can be a little extreme, but I get it and feel that way about people, life in general, and my own physical fitness and battles. I may catch myself complaining, “the course was too hilly” or “so-and-so didn’t communicate with me”, but often I just take full responsibility for what went down. “Your outlook sucks” is often a good reminder to pull me out of poor mental states. And then that brings me to the next two things I read that help explain some things about why I’ve always been able to meet my goals and be so damn driven.
Pick the Brian: 7 Habits Highly Effective People Don’t Have – http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/7-habits-highly-effective-people-dont-have/
At work, I probably annoy people because I am always evaluating the priorities of things and focus on completing one thing at a time according to that priority. My desk is also always completely free of clutter. I don’t even print out much. Everything is organized on my computer. I am always asking the question, “What is the worst that can happen if I do this?” and just get on with it. I’ve always been a pretty clear goal setter and luckily had training on how to do this. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who blame other people. I actually pride myself on taking responsibility for my failures. I have done it a zillion times at work and personally. Life is not about being perfect. Life is about living it. We shouldn’t be afraid to take risks and try things. That’s my take.
DISC Personality Test – http://www.123test.com/disc-personality-test/
My results explained a lot.
Influence – 32%
Sometimes their concern for people and people’s feelings may make them reluctant to disturb a favourable situation or relationship.
Dominance – 28%
Steadiness – 24%
Compliance – 16%
Free in thought, word and deed, they long for freedom and go to great lengths to achieve it.
discusonline.com talks a lot about the negative traits of my results as well, which I can identify with.