Back in 2012, I started this blog to get better from the trauma of domestic violence, child abuse, and sexual assault using the game SuperBetter. I came pretty far and then trailed off on using the blog.
A large amount of this past year has been focused on my career and work, which I’ve come to realize is getting me no where with my own personal happiness. Since a break up in 2012 and a really close friend taking a long hiatus on a trip around the world, it has completely changed my friendships and relationships with people I have known. I spent the past year taking up a new hobby and all of my new friendships center around the people I spend time with in this new hobby. It is an incredible group. Still a lot of those friendships are surface level. And my life is not where I want it to be. I love my partner, but he is not a social person, and my need to be social has had to be met by doing things without him often and with other people. I think that is ok, but I want my life to be more like I imagined it after I went through my divorce. I want best friends I can count on to talk through the really important things, to do my hobbies with, to laugh with, to enjoy life with, to go hike, to do crazy stuff with sometimes, to have sleep-overs, to have dinners, to travel, to plan to meet our goals together. I am for sure I am getting there, but I know I can easily slip back into loneliness and spending endless nights and days doing my hobbies alone or not doing anything that excites me and being able to share it with someone.
I am a very goal-oriented person. I spend all day at work planning projects and getting projects done. So why not apply this to my very own personal goal to create meaningful friendships? I started reading Shasta Nelson’s “Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends”.
Maybe our loneliness is why so many women have a reputation for being catty, judgmental, and mean to other women. Maybe it’s because we aren’t all as connected as we need to be for our health and happiness. Maybe that disconnectedness, and the way it causes us to treat others, is spreading. Maybe because we don’t feel loved, we have a harder time giving it. Maybe we’ve forgotten that we can only receive that which we extend. Maybe more friendship would make this world a better place.”
So I don’t have a plan quite yet. And just these past few weeks, I just try to do one or two things that at least bring me closer to one person in my life and say yes to events that would help bring me closer to people. But, it’s a start. I would imagine I can continue to use SuperBetter to help support this project as I did for PTSD. And well, this is a part of PTSD. Though it is a common problem the entire world is dealing with, not just us with PTSD. So if you followed this blog before and are still following it now, enjoy this new journey.