SuperBetter Book & Where Is Mia Today?

Since the SuperBetter book came out on September 15th, I got a few messages and emails about it and how am I doing today. I somehow missed that the book came out and had no clue my story was in it, though I’m guessing they might have said something about that a couple of years ago and I just cannot remember. But, yes, you’ve guessed correctly, the Mia, the Dream Warrior is my story. And I’m doing quite well.

I cannot believe it’s almost been a year since I logged into this blog last. I am also in amazement looking through the stats how much traffic this blog has had. I hope that it is making a difference to all of the people who have passed through.

Earlier this year I ended therapy. I got to a point where I felt like I came so far and had so many tools I learned how to use to combat PTSD, that it seemed appropriate to complete therapy.

I have done a pretty good job of building relationships. As you could tell from my last post in 2014, I was unhappy with how other friendships which used to be stronger got weaker. I think those relationships have changed and I might just see those people a handful of times a year, and that’s ok as long as I keep working on other friendships in my life.

Earlier this year I had an experience to remember that made me realize just how far I have come, and how I am an “influencer”. An influencer “has the capacity or power of person or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others.” I have always had to give presentations in my career, and have always been successful at communicating in the workplace. But, when it comes to personal relationships and real connections with people, I sure feel like that is a lot more there than it was 5 years ago.

Recently, SuperBetter sent out some emails prompting people to join back in as ally’s. I am more than happy to do that to continue helping people get better from PTSD. So feel free to get in touch with me on here or on the forum, and I’ll be happy to be your ally.

I have still not felt comfortable sharing my project publicly with my family or friends. I have told a handful of friends, who are experiencing different kinds of post traumatic growth (not PTSD but other situations), in the hopes that my story could help them. But, I still feel like I need to keep my identity secret. It’s funny because the book came out and I kind of wanted to share it with some people that my story was in there, but then the other side of my brain said no, that’s not a good idea. Just let it be.

On the dream warrior front… I have had a lot less nightmares, if not just 1-2 in the past year. So that alone amazes me.

New Project: The Happiness Project

Back in 2012, I started this blog to get better from the trauma of domestic violence, child abuse, and sexual assault using the game SuperBetter. I came pretty far and then trailed off on using the blog.

A large amount of this past year has been focused on my career and work, which I’ve come to realize is getting me no where with my own personal happiness. Since a break up in 2012 and a really close friend taking a long hiatus on a trip around the world, it has completely changed my friendships and relationships with people I have known. I spent the past year taking up a new hobby and all of my new friendships center around the people I spend time with in this new hobby. It is an incredible group. Still a lot of those friendships are surface level. And my life is not where I want it to be. I love my partner, but he is not a social person, and my need to be social has had to be met by doing things without him often and with other people. I think that is ok, but I want my life to be more like I imagined it after I went through my divorce. I want best friends I can count on to talk through the really important things, to do my hobbies with, to laugh with, to enjoy life with, to go hike, to do crazy stuff with sometimes, to have sleep-overs, to have dinners, to travel, to plan to meet our goals together. I am for sure I am getting there, but I know I can easily slip back into loneliness and spending endless nights and days doing my hobbies alone or not doing anything that excites me and being able to share it with someone.

I am a very goal-oriented person. I spend all day at work planning projects and getting projects done. So why not apply this to my very own personal goal to create meaningful friendships? I started reading Shasta Nelson’s “Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends”.

Maybe our loneliness is why so many women have a reputation for being catty, judgmental, and mean to other women. Maybe it’s because we aren’t all as connected as we need to be for our health and happiness. Maybe that disconnectedness, and the way it causes us to treat others, is spreading. Maybe because we don’t feel loved, we have a harder time giving it. Maybe we’ve forgotten that we can only receive that which we extend. Maybe more friendship would make this world a better place.”

So I don’t have a plan quite yet. And just these past few weeks, I just try to do one or two things that at least bring me closer to one person in my life and say yes to events that would help bring me closer to people. But, it’s a start. I would imagine I can continue to use SuperBetter to help support this project as I did for PTSD. And well, this is a part of PTSD. Though it is a common problem the entire world is dealing with, not just us with PTSD. So if you followed this blog before and are still following it now, enjoy this new journey.